I'll save children (but not the British children)

Life: Just a big distraction from the internet

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 03:32:21 -0400

Just about one year ago from today I made a big life change and moved to the other side of the country just because I could. That year of my life has flown past me faster than I would have liked but in that time I honestly do feel like my life has changed for the better. Sure, I don’t have an important job in my field that utilizes that BFA degree that has put me into a terrifying and overwhelming amount of student loan debt (which I need to start making payments on in about a month and a half), but, overall, I feel like it was the right decision to make.

But, dearest Internet, in that time I lost touch with you and for that I am truly sorry. So let’s catch up a little.

This year has been a tough one, not gonna lie. I’ve had crappy jobs, shitty roommates, health issues, money issues, housing issues, and an overall feeling of being out of place. But, in that time, here are some of the things I’ve learned:

1. The “big city” doesn’t really want you there

The “locals” with giggle and roll their eyes when they see you try to pay on Muni with a $20 bill or hear you’ve never tried Blue Bottle before. It happens. But, as San Francisco is a city of transplants, they were all in that same boat at one time too. Sure, I am guilty of the odd eye roll when I see tourists clearly on the wrong bus or walking with their mini backpacks and maps through the TL but I remember I was there once (you know, minus the mini backpack). I came to this city expecting it to welcome me with open arms when, in reality, it peed on my shoes like a homeless man on the street. It gets you down, I know it definitely did for me, but you have to remind yourself that you chose to live there for a reason and, hopefully, those reasons outweigh those feelings of being smothered under the weight of the city. So, you buy a Clipper card and you brave that 45 minute wait for a latte and follow the flow of the city, whether it likes it or not.

2. Life after graduation is tough

This is the biggest thing that people told me when I was about to graduate that I just didn’t believe. I mean, I was a big girl, right? I paid my rent (primarily paid for by my student loans), I went to work (a whole 2 days a week), and balanced that with a full course load. Life? I had that down. As much as I lamented about my frustrations with the city I lived in and the people I interacted with, I loved being in school. I wasn’t big on school pride at all and still don’t feel a great personal connection to the small college town I lived in for five years but school brought with it a schedule and a place that I found comfortable and nurturing and pushed me to work harder and find my passions. I had access to a studio, unlimited supplies, time to devote to my education, and a vast database of resources at my disposal and I only touched the surface of what I could do. So, making the transition from doing what I loved surrounded by people just as excited about art as I was to working full time to pay my rent was a tough one for me. For a long time I felt like I was just treading water, going to work to pay the bills to stay alive and nothing else. A year later I do still feel that way to an extent but I’m beginning to realize that I can still do things that I love outside of that comfortable school environment, it’s just a slow adjustment period.

3. Keep doing what you love, no matter what

When I was in my last semester of university I had a lot of professors say the same thing, “I hope you still keep making work after graduation.” At the time it was a no brainer. Of course I was going to make art, I was an artist how could I not? It wasn’t until the threat of not being able to pay for groceries until my next paycheck came that I realized what they meant. I’m still not nearly as prolific in my artwork as I was in school but at a point when I first moved to San Francisco I had stopped having art in my life completely. As a recent grad with an art degree I knew that my job prospects were pretty much limited to crappy service jobs or, if I was lucky and willing to kiss some asses, a receptionist at a gallery. When I first moved out here I worked a corporate retail job for little pay. Working that kind of job removed all creative thinking from my life and turned me into whatever kind of employee they wanted me to be, devoid of all personality and individual thought. I would come home from work, exhausted, and look at the paints sitting on my desk and the sewing machine collecting dust and just go to sleep. Eventually I quit and got a better (but still in retail) job where it was okay to hang my paintings in the store or rearrange merchandise how I saw fit. And with more support from my work and friends and family I started to re-pursue my love for making art. It’s hard to keep in mind the things you love when you’re worrying about paying your rent or working a full 40 hour work week, but I feel it is worth having in my life and hope that it will eventually replace my normal work week all together. It just takes time.

4. Be nice to those who are “there to serve”

Now, this is something that I already did ever since I was young. I have never been rude to a waiter or sales girl. Usually, if a meal is wrong I’m more likely to just eat it anyway to save the waitress the second trip. I had worked in customer service positions before but I don’t think I have witnessed that full extent of rudeness sales staff can face until I worked full time in retail. It’s simple, people: just don’t be dicks. Don’t throw things on the ground, don’t talk to me like I am an idiot child, don’t blame things on me that are out of my control, and don’t treat me like garbage. I now work at a small, family-owned shoe store in a very friendly neighborhood, but still manage to encounter rude, entitled people all the time. I can’t do anything to change them (another lesson I have learned) except put on my big girl pants and fake smile and deal. It’s character building. But, I find little ways to reward those who are nice. Seriously, being nice to a shop girl goes a long way.

5. Buy a food processor and learn to cook

Prior to the past two years I never really cooked. I lived in the dorms for many years without a kitchen and with a meal plan that delivered 3 flavorless yet sustaining meals a day so I never really had the need or desire to learn to cook well. Living on my own and making the purchasing decisions when it came to my food made me really want to do better when it came to feeding myself. Sure, San Francisco has some fantastic restaurants and I’m guilty of just eating what’s available after a long day at work but I’ve begun to truly enjoy cooking and baking for myself and for others. Eating rice and beans straight out of the can has turned into grill salmon and gluten free apple pies. It sounds cliché but it really does feel more satisfying to make something rather than buying it prepackaged and full of preservatives. I’ve been trying to my hand at making as many things from scratch as I can and the biggest help in that journey? The beloved food processor. I found him, abandoned and unwashed, in the cupboards in my kitchen, a relic a previous roommate had left behind after they had moved. Long story short, I will never buy pre-made hummus or piecrusts again.

6. The search for housing is a bitch

Now, I never considered myself a difficult person to live with. I’m responsible, I’m clean, I replace the toilet paper roll instead of just resting the new one on top of the old, and I thought that those were just a part of life, things that all normal humans did. Then I met my roommates. They’re gross. We’re talking leaving food on the counter for days, dishes piling up, never clean the bathroom, barely able to take care of themselves kind of gross. I tried to do it, I tried to be flexible, I tried to talk to them, I tried to not care, but about 6 or 7 months ago I decided I just couldn’t take it anymore. And that’s when I started looking for housing. For those who don’t know, the housing market in San Francisco is brutal. Every time you find a place on Craigslist and, miraculously, they respond you get that bright glimmer of hope and you think “maybe this is my time.” But then you show up to an open house and it’s like fucking Battle Royale (or the Hunger Games, for the younger readers) for a small, overpriced room. And if you’re trying to live alone like I am? Even worse. Sure, if you want to pay your entire paycheck for a small studio, live in the seedy depths of the Tenderloin, have no kitchen, or live in bumfuck nowhere (aka Daly City), you’re in luck! A reasonably priced, decent space in a safe-ish area? Not gonna happen. But, like all other trials I’ve faced in this past year, I’ve learned the best way to deal with that rejection call is to eat some ice cream, cry a little, and get right back on the horse.

7. Keep the ones you love close, even if you’re not close by

Moving to the opposite coast from everything I knew was hard to do, but I know it would have been that much harder if I didn’t have the support of my family and friends. It was scary, hugging my family goodbye and dragging my belongings, stuffed into two checked bags, onto a one-way flight across the country. Thankfully I wasn’t alone, my partner greeted my at the airport and things got a little easier. I knew that my good friend from college was just across the bay and that too brought me comfort. In the time that I’ve lived here my friends have become my family, sharing everything from Thanksgiving dinners to tearful life stories over a bottle of cheap wine. I know that if I had had to make friends without the help of already knowing people in the city this year would have been so much harder and for them I am grateful. In that time, though, I got caught up in my new West Coast life. A three-hour time difference and a few thousand miles separated me from family and friends often making it difficult to keep up with each other’s lives. Thankfully, we live in the age of texting and Skype but the distance makes maintaining any kind of relationship difficult. Not being able to share the mundane parts of your day with your friends and family is what separates us and makes that divide a little bigger until we’re only catching up every once a month or so. It’s a part of life that people move on and meet new people but I really do regret not keeping up with a lot of people who helped shape who I’ve become today.

Now, I could go on, but I’m sure I’ve lost anyone who may have been reading quite some time ago. My point in all of this is that life moves too quickly. Sure, I’ve learned a lot and experienced a lot in this past year but it feels like the time has gone too quickly. But I guess all I can do it go with it and see where the next year takes me.

And, you know, write unnecessarily long Tumblr posts about it.

My mom got the iPhone 5, which has a panorama...

Wed, 26 Dec 2012 13:37:14 -0500

My mom got the iPhone 5, which has a panorama feature.

Obviously my sister and I played with it for a while

Princess Bubblegum in the house! Drinking beer from a beaker...

Sat, 27 Oct 2012 22:32:23 -0400

Princess Bubblegum in the house! Drinking beer from a beaker (because of science).

Only took me about 5 1/2 hours of work, no big. This wig is so fucking itchy though.

Just sewin’ mah Halloween costume… (about 4 hours...

Sat, 27 Oct 2012 20:20:23 -0400

Just sewin’ mah Halloween costume…

(about 4 hours before I need to leave wearing it…)

It’s been while since I’ve really gotten a chance...

Mon, 15 Oct 2012 17:24:03 -0400

It’s been while since I’ve really gotten a chance to work on anything pottery related recently. I feel out of practice and lazy but at least I finally got this one done. (Taken with Instagram)

DOG LET ME LOVE YOU.

Sun, 24 Jun 2012 19:07:12 -0400

DOG LET ME LOVE YOU.

Photo

Sat, 23 Jun 2012 20:55:59 -0400

popartinferno: Sarah’s just jealous of my awesome...

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 15:52:43 -0400

popartinferno:

Sarah’s just jealous of my awesome hat.

“WTF, MAN, WHY SHE GOT SO MANY BUNNIES AND I JUST GOT THIS DUMB DOLL!”

YOU GUYS. I’m leaving for the airport in like half an...

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 15:49:00 -0400

YOU GUYS.

I’m leaving for the airport in like half an hour.

To move.

That’s an actual thing that’s actually happening.

Apparently black tea helps get rid of a sunburn

Sat, 16 Jun 2012 22:04:08 -0400

Which is why I reek of chai tea.

Photo

Sat, 16 Jun 2012 06:57:37 -0400

I don’t know, man. I wish we lived in that world.

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 17:47:48 -0400

I don’t know, man. I wish we lived in that world.

Tumblr people! As you probably noticed, I’m moving to San...

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 22:45:59 -0400

Tumblr people!

As you probably noticed, I’m moving to San Francisco in less than a week and will be closing my Etsy.

Tell your friends! Help support poor artists who feel bad that they’re leaving all of this in their parent’s basement!

Use the code SFORBUST now for 15% off your entire purchase!

(despite everything, I still have a ladyboner for Ms. Rapace)

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 00:06:00 -0400

(despite everything, I still have a ladyboner for Ms. Rapace)

Just watched Prometheus.

Sun, 10 Jun 2012 23:08:15 -0400

Most likely reenactment of my face during the second half of the movie:

…….dafuq did I just watch?

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 23:29:52 -0400

…….dafuq did I just watch?

Guess who actually washed and did something with her hair this...

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 14:35:37 -0400

Guess who actually washed and did something with her hair this morning.

(This girl)

PORN.

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 14:26:43 -0400

PORN.

A comic about anxiety.

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 01:43:02 -0400

causticgambler:

heymonster:

At least that’s what it’s like for me.

Yeah, I’m gonna reblog this.

I just kinda need it here.

Pretty much, yeah.

Oh hey, did I mention I have an Etsy? Or that I’m closing...

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 00:04:10 -0400

Oh hey, did I mention I have an Etsy? Or that I’m closing it when I move to San Francisco in less than 2 weeks?

Help support an artist in need!

Use the code SFORBUST now for 15% off your entire purchase!